At least visible dim orange glow means preheat is OK. When the discharge starts between filament turns, preheat is enough, or more than enough.
After reducing the number of primary turns to just 1, I installed a switch just like funkybulb suggested and I can see a dim glow, before there is nothing, now I just need a circuit that does this automatically. Unfortunately I don't have the gear to measure preheat current, but from mains side it draws 60mA when preheating, and at full intensity, a perfectly normal 80mA. Cheers for the help!