I found out why I get upset and feeling left out

Hello all!

In the past, I would get worked up when I don’t get comments or just the general sense that I was left out. Long story short, but for a long time I thought I was an introvert. I grew up with a highly introverted mom and no siblings. I have a dad and a half sister, but never lived with them. My sister and I eventually became close fortunately. Recently I found that I am actually an extrovert held back by anxiety and low self esteem. Going out to as many social events as I can in the last month, plus volunteering with people at a strawberry festival, and analyzing my past experiences over the years confirmed my true identity. Always felt warm and fuzzy meeting people and hearing their storied and sharing vice versa. Feeling empty and lonely after leaving, especially if not staying long enough.

So me being alone a lot was painful and depressing, even feeling dead inside. It’s one of the reasons I got into bulbs, because lighting is among the things that fascinated me all my life. I bought a lot of bulbs and fixtures to cope. Will always enjoy this hobby I think it’s fun and way better than some other hobbies out there like being involved in drama or the hookup culture you know what I mean? As a Generation X adult in my 40s it is a lot harder to pick up social skills because I’m no longer in school where I’d practice with other kids everyday getting out there (but I did have a few friends thankfully). I work full time paying my bills, but fortunately I can go to social events a few times a month plus talk with my co workers when possible and taking baby steps to get up there. It’s possible! I hope I can inspire others who read this that there is always a chance, it’s never too late!