Hi Cole, thanks for posting and I am sorry to hear of your struggles.

I know and I understand in general, we are going through hard times. I totally agree that Covid has caused a whole host of ongoing issues including a wrecked economy. Know that you are not alone in feeling discouraged about not being able to buy your own place. Circumstances beyond our control are making it more difficult for almost everyone in the whole country to get by. I feel your pain and I know how discouraging it can be.

It's never too late to meet someone new, learn something new, or try something new. I'm usually all for keeping a predictable routine, however it's really invigorating to go out and try something new, even if it's as simple as trying a new restaurant or taking up a new activity like a video game or watching a TV sitcom. I get into these kind of funks too, working 5 days per week and not having the time or energy to do things I enjoy on my own time. Adulting is hard, speaking from experience.

Just hang in there and take it one day at a time. Cherish your time with your parents  Keep up with your hobbies and try enjoying some sunshine and fresh air. Please don't take it personal about your friends getting married and having kids and not hearing much from them. I encourage you to hit them up on Social Media and see how they're doing or if anyone you know lives nearby for you to catch up with. My thoughts and prayers are with you Cole D. and I enjoy your LG content very much. Take Care 

Camden

Haven't you considered getting a furry friend?
Especially those unwanted by someone, coming from a shelter, may get a new life in your care. Giving your love to an animal with feelings and a strong will to live might give a good sense to your life. And at the end of your life you'll know that they had a good life thanks to your effort.

Just a warning: It's a commitment for years. Everybody has to consider their strengths, time, money, health etc. if they're able to give them their care until the end of their life. Abandoning an animal with a strong affinity to you may be devastating for them.

Take care.

I feel like this is getting worse lately again.

I just keep thinking about how I’m getting so old, (35) and I feel like my life doesn’t really have any purpose or meaning, because I’m not on a relationship and having children.

Probably brought on because several people around me my age and younger have had babies lately.

I see pictures of people on Facebook that are my age, and they look so old, they have wrinkles and their hair is all going gray, and I realize that I’m that old! I’m as old as they are!

And at the holidays I get really depressed. I see all the stuff and events that go on in the community during the holidays, and I feel so left out because I don’t have a SO or even any friends to visit and go out with. I’m just a loner and everyone looks at me like I’m a freak when I go anywhere alone. Like I get so many dirty looks. Plus it gets dark so early.

I see concerts lately that I’d love to go to, but nobody to go with. I don’t even have anybody to go out for lunch with or to a movie or anything.

Yesterday, I felt so bad, that I didn’t even get out of bed until 11:00, which I never do. I didn’t want to go out or anything.

If my mom was doing better, I think I’d be a lot happier, but there’s nothing I can do about that. She’s been so upset and angry lately. When I get home from work she’s always agitated or angry with me. She has demential and constantly forgets things or gets confused, and it’s super sad and stressful.

Nothing anybody does is good enough for her, she just wants to complain all day long, so I just try to avoid her. I’m honestly thinking about moving out next summer if I can, after I save for a few more months. It’s too stressful and depressing to live here.

I feel like I wasted my teens and twenties and didn’t realize how good things were and that it wouldn’t last forever and I would not always have friends in my life. I thought my friends would be there, that we’d be at each others weddings, that we’d still always see each other. But it didn’t happen at all. That’s a valuable lesson, but I feel like nothing is going to get any better in my life, and it’s just going faster and faster, because I don’t do anything. But I also feel like I’m past the point of no return of ever having friends again. I’m just too old.

Don't loose hope, I know that many members here value and appreciate you and your contributions (myself included).

The fact that you are still alive is what matters. Save up to move out and start living on your own. Take walks in more secluded areas, try to give yourself space to think about what you can do. Try to stop comparing yourself to others. They have their lives and you have yours. It may be late, but it's better late than never to take your life back.

Cole, you're not alone.

I am one age group older than you, I have no father, a narcissistic mother, I was raised in poverty without a father figure by a mother who was never home. I was raised by the streets. They called us "latch-key kids" back then.
All of my friends were from traditional, nuclear families. And, they all eventually left me too. That was tough, because they were my family.

My wife was also a latch key kid, but from China. It's weird because her and I are almost the same situation. She too has only 1 parent, and no siblings. Our kid only has us, when we die, he will definitely be alone. I can already see he will struggle with the same problems I did and that you do. I fear he will be lonely too, although at least he has his Mom and Dad for as long as we are around. My wife and I are the first in our lineages to actually "correct course" and raise a kid in a traditional nuclear family. Being a boy raised by a single mother is horrible. My Mom was proudly "women's lib" which was en vogue in the 70's and 80's, and she bragged to me about how good she is and everybody else is wrong. I can tell you from first hand experience, being raised that way was a living nightmare. I used to get beat up all the time from K-10, in grade 11 after hitting puberty and getting a mean streak, I decided to begin fighting back. I was lucky because I had a good job before I was 18, and I had a girlfriend who also had a good job by 18, and the 2 of us moved out of our homes and into an apartment with each other. I left my Mom's house at 17y 10m old and never looked back.
To this day, I absolutely hate all of these people who want to "empower single moms" because I was raised that way, I know firsthand it is wrong. I suffer every day from not having been raised by a healthy family. I have to calculate my actions as an adult to try and behave in a manner that others expect an adult man to behave. It's not natural to me, it's like living in a foreign land.

Even I am married, I am lonely. My friends avoid me. It used to be fun to go the bars, now when I go, there's hardly anyone there to chat with. Everyone is wasting away on social media, I suppose. All the things that weigh on me, everything I regret or lament, anxiety, no one wants to listen, not even my wife. And the few friends I do have, they struggle too. Even though they are "way more normal" than I am, the stories they share with me make me realize that they are struggling with many of the same or similar issues.

I feel REAL BAD about your financial situation. I get it. Gen X is probably the last generation that could get a head start in the dwindling American Dream. I also married a woman who is extremely good with finances, and she has guided us to wealth and prosperity. Once you "get in" with your first home, you can make it work. However, I think the financial reality for younger people is atrocious. And we absolutely have our government to blame. They allowed speculative buying from foreigners. When my wife and I were looking for a new home in 2011-2012, we would go to Open Houses and there'd be 3 or 4 Chinese groups there, speaking Chinese. My wife is fluent in Mandarin and I can understand Chinese pretty well too, and every time we'd overhear the Chinese people, we knew they were bring CASH to buy a house, and they were willing to pay more than asking price. One house we looked at went from $500K asking price to $750K sold price due to the Chinese speculative buyers. We became very worried that we'd never be able to buy a house. We had a limited budget and were going to finance. Back then, for about 10 years, you couldn't avoid price escalations from speculative buyers. It was so bad.

So, my wife and I devised a plan, the speculative investors were seemingly buying up ANYTHING, but we did notice certain types of properties they tended to ignore. We found a home that was in distress, and I performed my own on-the-spot inspection of it. We waived the pre-inspection condition of the offer, and we got the house for list price because it looked bad, but my inspection revealed the house was worth getting, and nothing was seriously wrong. Our house went from $420K to 1.2million in 10 years. I am not happy about that. Because I know the real estate market is NOT correcting. My son is 17y/o now and we will need to help him with his first house, BUT, what about everyone else? Median home price is $500K, who can afford that?
Where are the jobs? Now Starbucks people are protesting for $30/hr and full benefits?

OK, my suggestion, and remember I admit I am probably the WORST person to take advice from:

Consider taking on a job that has you traveling. They pay well. I know people who peddle Traffic Signal equipment that are always traveling, people who peddle car parts, people who repair/maintain/install elevators. I know a young man who builds Zoo enclosures all over the USA. I know people who work on semiconductor manufacturing equipment. And, best of all, we are all unique people who don't "fit in" to the norms. Employers rely on us for certain things that we do well. Just don't get into "sales".

After getting the resume beefed up, I suggest working for a municipal government agency. You may even need to relocate, and that sounds like something that would be good for you. Get a retirement fund going, depending on the agency, you could get a 401k, 459k or score a pension. And, most importantly, benefits and health insurance.

It sounds like you are living with the family? If so, it is difficult to attract a beneficial life partner, no offense. Once you move out, the very next day, try and find someone. The very first day you have your own place (heck, even a mobile home is a good start, just call it an investment) you should get out and find someone.

I think the reason I got lucky with my wife is that she is raised in a different culture, so her expectations of me are totally different than US-born women. What is social awkwardness to a US person, is just normal to people from certain cultures. She is pragmatic, not ever looking for the next "stepping stone" or the perfect "prince". Because I ain't no prince! I hate to admit it, my wife took a chance on me, as I am a mess. But, we have been married 20 years, and we are way happier than others we know. Not bragging, it's just how it worked out.
I have no advice on how to meet someone in 2025. I am shocked at how few people now go out to socialize. Even 15 years ago, things seemed "better".
That's why I suggested a traveling job. You never know who you will meet.
Traveling for work takes your mind off of the other issues in your life, when you've got a schedule to keep and a plane to catch, there's not much time for things to creep up on you.

Thank you! Fortunately, I got a pretty big raise this year out of the blue. I was surprised by that, so that helps me at least. Next year, my job is going to start a 401K, so I’m going to try to get the matching on that. I also have an IRA that I’ve been paying into.

House buying is still going to be difficult, insurance is also really high here. So I’m not sure what I’m doing to do about that besides moving.

Also, I am not interested in a life partner/marriage. From what I’ve seen, I don’t want it. I know there are those that are very happy in marriage, but I’m not the type that would be interested in that. I don’t believe marriage is for everyone.

y fortunately, in capitalism, having a decent and comfortable life financially, and ability to have a reasonable interest and hobbies, is only accomplished through a dual income household. Otherwise I’m going to be stuck renting an apartment all my life, which doesn’t work with my hobbies.

Yet OTOH being married also severely limits one’s hobbies, such as lighting. lol

You may change your mind.  Loneliness isn't all that its cracked up to be.  I've been single most of my life (47) and it is really getting lonely now.  I didn't want any kids so I might stand a chance now at finding a great gal who no longer has kids at home.

Idk it’s really difficult to meet new people in your 30s, or really past college. For the most part I just go to work, go to the gym sometimes, do whatever shopping I need, and occasionally thrift or go to garage and estate sales. Other than that I’m at home.

Even when I went to church, most singles weren’t interested. There was one that really had the hots for me, but I want comfortable getting involved with anyone in that church because it just wasn’t a good fit for me. She ended up marrying somebody else there and then they ended up leaving that church anyway. lol Generally people try to be nice to you because that’s their job in church but you will never fit in unless you grew up in the church and your family is there too. Which I’m not and nobody even knows my parents. We were just outcast alcoholics.

I don’t even drink, saw what it does, never have had any interest in it. When my friends got older, they couldn’t hang out or socialize without drinking. I would still hang out with them, but seeing them get drunk made me uncomfortable. These weren’t the same people I used to know, and it reminded me of my parents. So that was when I started slipping out of their lives I think.

I think it’s shameful how accepted drinking is when other drugs aren’t. It’s the same thing, it’s a drug, it’s dangerous, and it’s deadly. It isn’t fun. You can drink occasionally and be perfectly fine. There’s not anything wrong with that. And there are people that can do that, but they aren’t anyone I’m related to. Everyone in my family who drinks got addicted and now they all drink everyday. Only ones that ever quit were my two grandfathers. And I may not be a successful or popular person ever in my life, but even if it’s all I ever do, I’m not ever going down THAT road.

Anyway for now I just want a house to make my own, with a place to work on stuff and a yard to put up some streetlights. But it’s just really impossible on a single income now if you didn’t get in before about 2021. I mean even a crappy old condo with no yard and having HOA fee costs more than an entire house with a garage and a yard cost just a few years ago.

My frustration is I want to get on with life and I just can’t. And even if I got married and two incomes, they won’t have the same goals or interests I do so it still won’t work out.

Really sorry to hear that dude! Believe it or not, my life sucks too.

It's so sad to hear how rough some people had it, I was/am very lucky growing up.

So was I. Having lots of freedom and having a good mother. Only downside was that I didn’t have a whole lot of friends, the first two things changed when my mother and I moved 2 hours away from home to be with her boyfriend who she loved more than anything. After that, my life went down the train and get treated like I was in military school. I was terrified to speak my mind, got punished for the littlest of things and my mother always gave him the absolute last say on what happened to me and she also did (and still does) play the victim.

@Cole D: Sorry you're in hard times

I've always been single and have very little if any interest in having a girlfrind(basically its a never say never, but unlikely). I don't see single as a bad thing, though at times I feel like it might be nice to have someone to be close with.
Deff will never get married or have kids, but neither is something I have ever wanted.

While I still like lights, I've certainly lost some interest in lighting. Maybe its all the boring crap out there these days, or maybe a matter of having so much stuff, or maybe its just simply the fact I'm old and interests change over time.
There's a ton of lights & stuff I'd like to sell off, things that I'll never use and are just taking up space. But there's no good place to sell (eBay sucks for small sellers anymore. And I won't deal with Craigslist & the flighty people on it).
To the right person/people there's allot of lights I'd sell off for what I paid, not looking to make a profit. To general public, I'd want to make some profit simply to make it worth my time/effort of dealing with the stuff. In all honesty I'd rather take the stuff out back to the firepit than sell it at a loss.

I hate the short daylight hours of winter, and freezing cold (but don't mind snow). The holidays are one the things I look forward to(part of that it is my love of Christmas lights...all that color & light(which shows I still have some interest in lights)).  Other time I really look forward to is June. I love summer & I love thunderstorms.

I see Covid as kind of a downfall in society - just overall in general. That period was crap, and while things are mostly back to 'normal', its still not the same - something was lost in there.

As far as the future for me... Not looking forward to it at all. I personally see nothing but bad coming up starting next year. I certainly won't be proud of living in the DSA anymore, and if anything an am kinda dreading it. I'm pretty much glad I'm old and (hopefully) don't have many years left.

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Edit:
Also sorry for such a negative post..

In fact, today's lighting is not near being boring crap. Compact LED sources allow for some really creative luminaire designs if you look around. And what do you say for example about modern high-CRI LED module, emitting nice red-rich CRI98 light just by applying DC current? No high voltages, no explosion risks... Or other modern wonders like 200lm/W lamps emitting a LOT of acceptable quality light just by using some 5W of power...

Sure in the past the sun was brighter and the grass was greener