Author Topic: I Must Confess... LA California, 2014  (Read 1685 times)
suzukir122
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I Must Confess... LA California, 2014 « on: May 14, 2023, 05:31:06 AM » Author: suzukir122
Some of you long time members on here might remember when I posted random lighting pics in LA California back in 2014. I want to address what happened, and
why I was there.
But first... here's a few lighting pics I uploaded back then when I was there:
https://www.lighting-gallery.net/gallery/displayimage.php?album=1854&pos=68&pid=94590
https://www.lighting-gallery.net/gallery/displayimage.php?album=6365&pos=18&pid=93467
https://www.lighting-gallery.net/gallery/displayimage.php?album=6365&pos=17&pid=93879
https://www.lighting-gallery.net/gallery/displayimage.php?album=6365&pos=12&pid=93885
... it's actually not easy looking back at those pics without getting emotional, for various reasons. I also uploaded a video back then of me at a random
hotel here in Ohio, filming the lighting. (Including F30T12 fixtures, a triple tube CFL in a recessed fixture operating on Preheat, etc.) It's very tough
for me to view that video as well, without getting emotional... that hotel moment was after all the... events... which took place in LA.
I took a plane ride on April 29th 2014 to LA, in an attempt to live with my older brother and his wife. My goal was to not only help them achieve their
dreams, but also to achieve my own dreams as well. I wanted to become a singer, songwriter and music producer. This was my ultimate dream.
My older brother wanted to become a movie producer, and my brother's wife wanted to become a singer. It was awesome seeing the success around me while
I was there. We even managed to unexpectedly meet celebrities at complete random. (Adrienne from 3LW, Jennifer Freeman, Jill Marie Jones) That's a story
for another time though... honestly not in a hurry to tell it.
We also met incredibly talented people at my brothers college, etc. I'm pretty sure most of those people were rich as well.
But us?... nope. My bro and his wife lived in a TINY expensive studio apartment along Sunset Blvd in LA.
(I think it was called Harvey Apartments. Not sure, this was a long time ago.) They had one car, and my brother's wife was the one to drive it, as
my older brother was too scared to drive for some reason. Anyways, we would drive to my brother's college from time to time for his classes,
and I was welcomed by extremely talented and creative people. That was some of the better times in LA.

I won't get into much detail, but my brothers wife was incredibly unstable. She would argue and cause a scene at complete random, even if it meant
doing so in public. When my bro and his wife got their car towed for not paying numerous parking tickets at the parking meter, that's when things REALLY
went down hill. The... irrational... arguments between me and my brother's wife increased. My brother just sat there in confusion, not knowing what to do.
Granted, I was immature back then, but even then, I still knew right from wrong, and I still knew there was nothing I could do during the unexpected
involvement in an irrational argument. So my final attempt to combat the arguments: I talked with my brother and his wife. I made them both promise to
stop the arguing, and to focus on the career goals. Although my brother wasn't the one arguing with me, they both agreed to the promise.
Before I continue, one bit of major detail I forgot to type: after some of those arguments, I would leave the tiny studio apartment they were living in,
walking aimlessly around the streets of LA... for hours and hours until they went looking for me/found me/picked me up to go back to their studio apartment.
That happened... numerous times.
Anyways, so just one day later after the big "promise," I found myself in yet another irrational argument with my brother's wife... this argument was about
cleaning the already cleaned refrigerator. (I cleaned it several hours ago, there was nothing left to be cleaned.) That's when I lost it and walked out, again.
Came back to the apartment building several hours later during the night, for wifi, sitting down in the hallway leading to their apartment door.
I needed the wifi to notify my parents through email, that things weren't working out, and that I was probably going to die. (Depression) A couple minutes
later, my brother's wife opened the apartment door, walks up and arrogantly asks, "You ready to talk?" That's when I lost it again, mentioning that things
would never workout, before walking down the hallway stairs. She then yells "and don't you ever come back." I cursed at her, she cursed back, before I heard
the apartment door slam. I ended up going outside and walking around the streets of LA again, for the rest of that night. I remember at one point, stopping
by the apartment and knocking on the door one last time. They didn't answer. I then yelled a curse word before walking out of the apartment building again.
The next morning as I was sitting in the hallway texting my parents through email, two police officers walked up to me. One carelessly said, "You gotta go."
I told them that my original home was in Ohio... his response?... "They're kicking you out, so you gotta go." My brothers wife then walks out of the apartment and gives me back my duffle bag and suitcase. I didn't say one word to her... the officers escorted me out. I explained what happened to the careless officer... with a little more detail. "Best of luck to you, you gotta go," He said. It was at this moment where I started making plans for my own demise... but for some odd reason, despite being stranded in LA for two days and nights with no money, food or water, I never followed through with it. I didn't go for the permanent solution. My parents managed to come up with enough money to bring me back to Ohio, through multiple bus tickets. While my parents gathered money for the bus tickets, they managed to call a cab, to send me to a hotel to stay, until they had enough money. Cab driver cared nothing about my life. My parents gave me money for that cab ride, and my card transaction went through. The cab driver tried scamming me... that's another story again, for another time. All of this really messed up my mentality with regarding people. This is permanent. 
When all was said and done, it took me 5 buses and almost two days to get back to Ohio. I haven't spoken to my older brother because of this, since
2014. This situation also further separated my family... there was nothing I could do about that.
There is so much detail that I have left out, since that detail would make this story much, much longer... but this is one of the major reasons why I've
been extremely depressed for so many years. I was also thinking about escaping even back then, after a break up with a girl that I fell in love with.
That break up was powerful enough to shatter my perspective of life and people, and the situation that occurred in LA scattered the remaining pieces.
I'm still recovering from all of this, and I'm working on trying to make myself happy for one last time... achieving goals and dreams, making other people
smile, videos for YouTube... etc. All of that will happen this year. I've already managed to make my little brother smile with the car I bought a while
ago. (Just now revealed it to him a couple weeks ago) That smile is on video.
So yeah... that's what happened. That's the story... this story is one of the major reasons why I'm so depressed and angered about life, people, etc.
 

« Last Edit: May 14, 2023, 05:39:15 AM by suzukir122 » Logged

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Re: I Must Confess... LA California, 2014 « Reply #1 on: May 14, 2023, 09:41:19 PM » Author: wide-lite 1000
 People can be jerks but family can be A**HOLES !!!!  I get along with my family much better now that they're 1,600 miles away than I ever did when they were 20 minutes away . 

 Also , 3 people in a cramped space was bound to cause a blow up regardless !
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Re: I Must Confess... LA California, 2014 « Reply #2 on: May 14, 2023, 10:00:03 PM » Author: suzukir122
Yep... that is VERY true @Wide-lite 1000... 3 people, one cramped space = ultimate drama. That apartment was formally an old hotel, from what I remember.
It was just enough to fit two beds. The kitchen was in front of the two beds, and the small bathroom was to the left of the kitchen. A small closet
to the right of the kitchen... and that's it... that was the entire apartment. My bed was right next to theirs, so they had absolutely no privacy.
And... that apartment was almost 1400 dollars per month. Parking meter based parking spaces on the street... ghetto type life style.
I was there in April, I was back in Ohio sometime early June.
No clue if they're divorced, but I am certain they probably are...  based off of her personality. I haven't spoken to my older brother since 2014.
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2. Weightlifting/staying extremely athletic
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Lighting has ALWAYS been a passion of mine. I consider everyone on here to be a friend

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Re: I Must Confess... LA California, 2014 « Reply #3 on: May 14, 2023, 10:08:56 PM » Author: wide-lite 1000
 That place sounds like it was too small for one person to live in full time without going crazy , let alone 3 !!!  :poof:
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Re: I Must Confess... LA California, 2014 « Reply #4 on: May 14, 2023, 10:48:38 PM » Author: suzukir122
Yep! I couldn't imagine living there alone. It was almost like a jail cell.
I was actually in shock that my brother downgraded himself towards that type of lifestyle.
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Re: I Must Confess... LA California, 2014 « Reply #5 on: May 14, 2023, 10:55:49 PM » Author: wide-lite 1000
 The problem is that EVERYTHING in Cali is just so damned expensive !!  I remember seeing one of those house flipping shows in which the house in question was located on a busy street in Compton . This dump looked more like bulldozer fodder than a project house . The flipper paid almost $375,000 for it !!!  :poof:
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Re: I Must Confess... LA California, 2014 « Reply #6 on: May 14, 2023, 11:12:56 PM » Author: suzukir122
Everything was STUPID expensive in LA. I will never forget that. Plus, there were good sides to LA, and very, very, very bad sides to LA. Some of which I
was exposed to during my 2 days and nights of being homeless there.
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Re: I Must Confess... LA California, 2014 « Reply #7 on: May 14, 2023, 11:17:08 PM » Author: wide-lite 1000
 No Thankyou !!
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Re: I Must Confess... LA California, 2014 « Reply #8 on: May 15, 2023, 12:28:21 AM » Author: suzukir122
It was bad. Especially during the night, in the bad parts of LA... homeless people walking around everywhere, like zombies. One of them
asked me if I had any drugs he could use.  I was actually kinda scared... not gonna lie.
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Re: I Must Confess... LA California, 2014 « Reply #9 on: August 30, 2023, 03:34:33 PM » Author: Maxim
Wow, Suzukir, I feel terrible for you. How are you making out now?
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Re: I Must Confess... LA California, 2014 « Reply #10 on: August 30, 2023, 04:52:14 PM » Author: suzukir122
@Obsessedstreetlight24, although spells of depression significantly clouds my view of things, I'm actually one of the more successful people in my family
right now. I'm living in a very nice apartment with a detached garage strongly lit with Metal Halide wallpacks, with one sportcar and one motorcycle
inside of it. I'm living completely on my own, with no girlfriend as of now. I'm doing my own things.
From where it stands now, none of my family members can say this. That's something I'm proud of, but I just need to start achieving more dreams/goals.
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Interests:
1. Motorcycles, Cars, Women, and Lighting (especially fluorescent)
2. Weightlifting/staying extremely athletic
3. Severe Thunderstorms of all kinds
4. Food and drinks. So gimme them bbq ribs
Lighting has ALWAYS been a passion of mine. I consider everyone on here to be a friend

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Re: I Must Confess... LA California, 2014 « Reply #11 on: August 30, 2023, 07:16:42 PM » Author: Maxim
Congrats! I love your MH-lit garage, and wish my dad would allow such a thing in MY home. When I move out I'll do anything and everything to my house, whatever I want. :)) I'm glad you're successful, and happy for the most part. Do you work?
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