This won't be lengthy, I simply don't want to repeat that rather cold approach (and well established habit of mine) of simply evaporating out of existence, as tempting as it is right now. So writing this really takes me out of my comfort zone.

This isn't about anybody on here, you can all rest assured.

The problem is in my own person. I don't really know what I wish to get out of my interactions in this community, and whatever it is looks totally unrealistic. I may even have contradictory expectations, possibly making me react accordingly. The point being, I'm a mess at the moment, and before becoming a negative element of this community, it'd probably be in its best interest that I step aside, at least temporarily.

I'm sorry if this comes off as overreacting, it's not my intention. Nor is it an indirect attempt at begging for support. I suppose I could enforce the latter by locking the thread right away, but that would be silly, wouldn't it?

All of this is merely an announcement, even though no definitive decision has been made at this point. It's just so that if I'm no longer seen around in the following weeks or months, it'll be known why.

Oh Vince, try not to take things to heart so much, I know it can be hard sometimes, but we don't want to see you go 

We know only too well that things can get on top of you sometimes, we ended up leaving for almost a year a while back, but we found we couldn't stay away 

Take a break, if you feel you need to, but know that you will always have a place here 

You're absolutely right. Sometimes I wish I simply was cold as a stone inside. In fact I tried to achieve this for much of my life, and let's say the results have been counter-productive!

I can't go my whole life shielding myself away from my emotions, and ultimately people. I can't keep everything inside either (something I'm too good at IRL), it becomes anxiety which isn't any better.

At least I learned to let the dust settle before making decisions. But my point still stands, even if I can keep myself from overreacting or creating drama, I'm doing myself no favour wasting energy like that. It's much wiser to spend that energy on figuring out why I'm like this, why I've been feeling so different from other people my entire life. My father is convinced as can be I'm one of those people called "gifted". The amount of arguments he brought supporting this (and backed up by books on the matter) is very difficult to ignore, so he may very well be on to something... Maybe I should see a psychologist specialized in giftedness (thankfully there are some within driving distance of where I live) and figure this out once and for all.

I'll probably stick around in the meantime, but go (partly) silent for a while (or not). Nothing is definitive at this point.

And thanks for those kind words. I really don't want to appear in need of external validation (I'm aware of how unpleasant this attitude is to others), but it was heartwarming to read. 

And thanks for those kind words. I really don't want to appear in need of external validation (I'm aware of how unpleasant this attitude is to others), but it was heartwarming to read. 

No problem, send me a PM if you ever need to chat privately