@Desultory13, although a dream car is in the works, I won't let it financially distract me. I've been good about it so far... I've been
keeping a strong eye on my bank account, and I've also paid all of my bills. (Including my electric bill... which has been really low despite
my heavy usage of electricity... fluorescent up-lighting. Seriously considering getting some form of magnetic Metal Halides as up-lighting though.*)
Regardless of where I stand with depression, I intend to stay financially stable.

@Desultory13, although a dream car is in the works, I won't let it financially distract me. I've been good about it so far... I've been
keeping a strong eye on my bank account, and I've also paid all of my bills. (Including my electric bill... which has been really low despite
my heavy usage of electricity... fluorescent up-lighting. Seriously considering getting some form of magnetic Metal Halides as up-lighting though.*)
Regardless of where I stand with depression, I intend to stay financially stable.

Well if you can still remain responsible with your finances despite the severe depression, I'd say that you're doing a great job of taking care of yourself.

Regardless of where I stand with depression, I intend to stay financially stable.

That's always good if you can do it. Sammi and I managed to get debt-free a few years ago once we'd both paid off credit cards. We got rid of them and we'll never have another. Strange how not owing any money lowers your credit rating, though. I've never worked that one out; they say it's because they need to see how you deal with borrowing and paying back credit, but surely if you don't have any debts and don't need to borrow, that should mean that you know how to manage your money..? Apparently not, it would seem 

That's always good if you can do it. Sammi and I managed to get debt-free a few years ago once we'd both paid off credit cards. We got rid of them and we'll never have another. Strange how not owing any money lowers your credit rating, though. I've never worked that one out; they say it's because they need to see how you deal with borrowing and paying back credit, but surely if you don't have any debts and don't need to borrow, that should mean that you know how to manage your money..? Apparently not, it would seem 

Credit/loan stuff is weird. It sometimes makes my head 

@Sox35, I may be financially stable, but I'm still in some debt. Ironic... my debt is actually relevant to this topic.
In 2016, I was in very dark thoughts, none of which I can talk about here. I texted some of those thoughts to a now former friend.
She made a call... and next thing I knew, I was at a hospital getting blood sampled, then forced to talk to a therapist.
I won't elaborate any further regarding that moment, but I'm in debt mainly because of that.

What can I say 

Although if it helps, I'm a good listener 

This is too important a thing for me not to rebump this...


Aside from the usual "been there, done that" reply, I want to share what I myself experienced for most of my life.


2017 to 2020 were tough years. I was never diagnosed with depression per se, but I was getting there, as a result of being an outcast for all but kindergarten and 1st grade. I'm not even saying I wasn't the problem (and frankly it doesn't even matter anymore, but I digress LOL). Being told at least indirectly I wasn't worth much at all as a person for most of my life probably broke me in some way, maybe permanently. But fast forward to 2017 and the whole thing really took effect, for 3 whole years. And it's no coincidence it partly matches the years I wasn't around here. Should I've stayed around and seeked support? Quite probably. But I didn't, thanks to this defense mechanism I built over years, which is to rely on nobody but yours truly. A toxic behaviour, indeed, I can't help it...

I'm not going to advise AGAINST medication, but it's my belief that if you don't deal with the core of the problem, any substance, legal or not, is just a band-aid solution. Unless of course there's an obvious medical problem to be addressed. In my case it was mostly a combination of severe lack of meaningful social life and unrealistic expectations about said social life. Nothing a change in mindset can't fix. Still not quite out of the woods yet, as I'm now dealing with another form of the same problem. Lack of deep friendships used to be no. 1, now it's lack of relationships that I'm focusing on. I just turned 28, yet I've never had anything, not a single experience beyond semi-distant friends. It's no big deal at 18, but getting close to 30 it's becoming a serious handicap, to the point I have no choice but to accept I may very well be single my entire life. Not a pretty sight but if I don't get used to the idea I'll really expose myself to depression...

Which brings me to the new tool in my toolbox. Quite unexpectedly, philosophy invited itself into my life. I don't think I can find words to describe how helpful this has been, namely the work of 19th and 20th century philosophers on existentialism and especially the absurd. In fact I'll try to find some of the texts from Albert Camus, who explored this subject extensively. My view on life completely changed, and now anything I go through just isn't as a big a deal. It's no magic but at the very least I was able first to get back to action, even just for the sake of not being stalled again, and second I could stabilize the downhill trend to depression and even improve things a bit.

Alright, this blahblah is long enough already. This thread isn't about me after all! Long story short: I was told countless times there's always a solution, and I try my best to make it true!

"Almost 30." Yeah but still, keep in mind that 30 years old is definitely on the younger side. It'll be a while before you can officially say "it's too
late, I'll always be single." Being single forever isn't really my cause of depression. It's mainly the vivid and constant flashbacks of the hurt caused
by those who obviously cared nothing about me. That does include relationships, with one in particular being possibly the number one cause of depression.
Pulling forward, keeping myself in shape, as well as welcoming any solution towards making new friends... these are all my last resorts... aside from vehicular
distractions. Hopefully it does work out in the end. Who knows... maybe I'll find girl during all of this.

Hey, I was in my 50's before I met Sammi  , I never thought I'd find anyone either. The old saying "There's someone for everyone" springs to mind (cue Kenny Rogers song) 

There's someone for everyone is true. My Dad met my Mom... Mom being from Barbados. No clue how they met. My Dad is from America, (black American)
and I know no story of him traveling to Barbados alone at all. But they did meet at some point, and they got married in 1985. Still together and
going strong, here in 2021. Although me and my Dad didn't get along much, their relationship together has always been something I've looked up to.
Regarding depression, it doesn't seem like it's something that runs in my family... and if it did, I was the only one that showed it.
Even back then, I questioned life, and I had stupid temper tantrums that would get me in a lot of trouble.

I've had stretches where nothing felt right, not the things I enjoyed, not the stuff I was supposed to care about. The thoughts just loop, over and over, and even when you're doing “okay” on the outside, inside it’s chaos. For me, what helped wasn't one big fix, but stacking little changes that took the edge off.

One thing that’s become more accepted lately is medical cannabis, and I’m not talking about sketchy sites or random CBD drops.

I’ve struggled with depression for a long time.

My mom has always been… strange. She would flip over the craziest things and generally always an angry unhappy person. I suspect bipolar or something, hee mother was that way as well, but not as extreme. I think I have something like that too, very extreme emotions.

I’ve become very depressed lately but for me it’s always constantly come and gone. Lately it’s been worse and it’s not going away this time… dealing with my mothers worsening dementia, as well as having no friends or anyone to talk to. Usually I’ll have a few days or weeks of “low” and then it’s like the clouds break or something happens to lift my spirits… except that doesn’t happen anymore.

There are days where I barely speak to my parents or not at all, go to work and barely speak. I just don’t like people anymore.

I’ve decided I’m not doing the family get togethers anymore, it was too depressing last year for me to want to do them again. I’m not going to Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner anymore. It’s not the same with my “real” mom being “gone”. We don’t do my birthday anymore, my mom doesn’t ever remember it anymore nor know what day it is anyway.

Last time I socialized or talked to friends was on my birthday three years ago now, nobody cares about me enough to reach out anymore.

Hoping I don’t live too long as there isn’t anything to look foreword to anymore. My parents are going to die and then it’s just me… to do what? Keep working?

I still definitely suffer from extreme depression and my thoughts about life and people have not changed, but one thing that has changed is me
doing work around my apartment, and doing cool car projects... well, kinda. I'm learning more about that cool sportcar that I've had since 2021,
and will be trying my best to fix it this weekend. I may possibly get my motorcycle license plate and insurance back up to date so that I can
motorcycle ride again... things like that, takes my mind off of depression, although temporarily.
That "work around the apartment," by the way, was me setting up floating shelves, as well as eleven two lamp newly converted F30T12 fixtures.
Yes, eleven. My downstairs and upstairs living room is now EXTREMELY bright. Looks epic... pics soon.
But yeah... I still have extreme depression and my best bet as of now is to take my mind off of it, doing things that I'm passionate about.
@Binarix128, and @Cole D, you're both friends of mine, even if you don't know it yet. I get along with EVERYONE, regardless of what kind of life
they live, where they're from, etc. I don't care... which is why, someday, I plan on setting up a meet up at my apartment, for the fellow Lighting
Enthusiasts, such as yourselves.

@suzukir122: I would recommend that you go to your doctor to rule out your issue